This is it !

The final day has come. My last day with FJP. Feeling? Kinda normal, no sadness...not surprise at all coz I detach my feeling from the work since day 1.

Just now we had lunch @ Renaissance, the food was food, the cheesecake was scrumptious! Delicious!.....

& I'm ready to submit my final batch of articles, total 65 articles for Jan & Feb. Who would have though I could have wrote that amount of articles! I'm quite surprise myself...I'm going to count, how many has I written for the past 1 year wth FJP, more than 200s of articles...cool!

so...a new chapter, a new beginning...I need full support from family & friends & May Allah be with me all the time...Ameen!

Life is....full of colors!

Weekend, hubby ade 2 day course, mlm sempat bw kids jalan2. Najla is doing much better. Sejak mlm kelmarin Iman start demam kuat, around 3am..dah masuk ubat montot, ok. Siang ok...tp mlm semlm, around 8, rase badan die ok, kepale panas...& batuk die bunyi dah semacam. Gi Pantai, mmg dah kene broncholitis balik; so , masuk ubat montot, nebulizer & blood test.

Alhamdulillah, the result is good, means takde infection, just the inflammation. Doc prescribe, pcm, ventolin, & continue with actifed & cough-en linctus. Balik tu ok, makan chips with the sis. Makan ubat, then tido...

Around 4.00am, me rase badan Iman panas ya amat. Amik termometer, check..Ya Allah..the temp hike up until 39.6 and still counting, tak tunggu lagi terus amik ubat montot masukkan. Then, check turun sket je, tuam dgn towel...asben kuar gi beli kool fever. Then, basahkan kepala dia. Finally, asben tuam kepala dia dgn ais...baru suhu badan turun...sampai pagi ni...

me @ work, very weng2...sib baik drive ok je. Asben on leave to take care of Iman...This is my final week with FJP...so..kerja saja laaaa.......

dug dig dug

...makin berdebar-debar hati ni....

CNY

On friday, migraine menyerang lagi, with low BP 90/70, doc terus bagi MC to rest at home. Then, late evening head to Penang, sampai around 1.00 am. High way jam, uerghh....but still can find place to solat & have dinner.

Day 1 - Lepak rumah ajer, sbb masih kepenatan.
Day 2 - Gi picnic kat air terjun teluk bahang. Sangat le sesuai dgn keadaan cuaca yg maha panas. Malam2, basah bantal budak2 ni dek peluh, dlm sehari > 4 kali mandi..mmg tak tahan ler....
Day 3 - Cuaca yg terik membuatkan tak kose nak gerak kemane pun, lepas maghrib ajak mak & sis gi makan pasemboq Ghani, sotong kangkung yg the vass & char koey teow...
Day 4 - Pagi2 ke kubur ayah, terase sayu pilu mengenangkan kenangan dgna yah....Preparing nak balik sini pulak...bertolak 6pm, samapi 2.15am! Jam lagi teruk, kat R&R mmg tak bleh nak berenti langsung...perghhh....

4 hari je, tak cukup nak gi umah Ifa, nak gi jenguk rodzi yg bakal meletup tak lame lagi, nak melawat nek ah, macam2 lagi nak buat...

Sorry ye Ifa, hajat ni masih lum kesampaian.....

Rindu

Sebab ape kite rindu?

...pada yg telah pergi selamanya
....pada yg missing in action
.....pada yg invisible
......pada yg jauh
......rindu padaNya, membuatkan hati gelisah jika belum mengadapNya....


aku selalu kerinduan....

Hidup Mesti Berani...

hmm...one of my weaknesses is penakut. Macam mende takut...tp kalo sentiasa takut, camne nak move forward.

Takut cacing
Takut ulat
Takut menatang kecik, menatang besaq
Takut parking kete besaq sket dr my dearest kelisa tu..
Takut try new things..
Takut pd kebolehan diri sendiri ( org lain plak yg lebih confident kat kite)
....mcm2 jenis takut....

so, I must try eliminate this word slowly from my life.....But one has to remain, Takut Pada Allah!.

Halo....

Remember those walls I built
Well, baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make up a sound

I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now

It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
It's the risk that I'm takin'
I ain't never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo

Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You're the only one that I want
Think I'm addicted to your light

I swore I'd never fall again
But this don't even feel like falling
Gravity can't forget
To pull me back to the ground again

Feels like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
The risk that I'm takin'
I'm never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

I'm down..down...down...

It's expected, but not this soon. He passed ur the termination letter, saying the company last operation day is end of February. Of course I'm sad, who won't? With me not feeling very well, I just want to hit the pillow & sleep.....

Ku dalam dilema!!!!!

Dalam hidup ni, kalau mendatar pun bosan jugak, tp bile dah berada di-comfort zone, mmg malas nak kemane2 dah....hmm..cemane ye...

lepas sembang with another 2 partners, nampaknye tahun ni, tahun yg mencabar dr segi ekonomi. Kami terpakse mempelbagaikan cabang bisnes....then, A ade proposal, nak I handle big project... project tu belum disecure...tp die nak tau can I commit? terkejut gaks le...rase tak nak pun ade,

then...pikir balik, sampai bile nak dok gini, padahal I tau tahap kemampuan diri from previous experiences....after discussing with DH, abt capability & time...he agrees...even tho, i'll have to be in KL quite frequent if this is going to happen....but, he doesn't want to travel alone with A, understand, it's not nice...
well, esok luse gi KL, jumpe bakal client...before that , kene buat homework dulu...how to be a project manager! he he

Nobody knows it but me.......

I pretended I'm glad you went away
These four walls closin' more every day
And I'm dying inside
And nobody knows it but me

Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
Now I'm cryin' inside
And nobody knows it but me

Why didn't I say
The things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just a-tumblin' down
I can see it so clearly
But you're nowhere around

The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

I carry a smile when I'm broken in two
Now I'm nobody without someone like you
I'm tremblin' inside, and nobody knows it but me
I lie awake, its a quarter past three
I'm screamin' at night
As if I thought you'd hear me
Yeah my heart is callin' you
And nobody knows it but me

How blue can I get
You could ask my heart
But like a jigsaw puzzle its been torn all apart
A million words couldn't say just how I feel
A million years from now you know I'll be lovin' you still

The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

Tomorrow mornin' I'm hittin' the dusty road
Gonna find you wherever, ever you might go
I'm gonna unload my heart
And hope you come back to me
Said when the nights are lonely...

I feel good...

I feel good and can't wait to start a new day ahead. I already made up my mind on certain things. I hope & pray everything will turn out to be fine....

I want to be more positive towards facing new challenges in life! Gambatte, Rina!

Allah is always with me, Hasbunallah waniaq mal wakeel......

End of year, A new beginning

Finally, 31st December is here even tho I wasn't really waiting for it. I need to plan ahead for the next year, fast!

Last night, during the meeting, the BOD asked me when can I give my 100% to the new co? I told them, give me another 2 months. What? Am I crazy? 2 months? It means I must tender must resignation letter by end of January. Geez, am I ready ? Frankly, I dunno....*sigh*
But, sooner or later, I'd be leaving. Hmm..*sigh*...think think think.

Mom & sis came during Xmas holiday, they're very supportive and mention that I look better than the last time they saw me.... errr....I was like, ok....he he...

Next year means I'm turning 36, mind you 36! Wow...I don't feel like 36, I feel me...very me...the same old me, with the naughtiness, cheekiness, playfulness inside me...hmm..should I change?

I just don't know and don't want to know...right now, I'm gonna make a cup of coffee & enjoy my breakfast, alone......

Happy New Year 1431

Alhamdulillah, bertemu tahun baru 1431.

Kali ini, memang benar2 terasa penghijrahan diri ini, dalam semua segi. Terasa semakin kerdil diri ini, makin matang dlm mengharungi liku2 kehidupan.

Di doakan tahun baru ini penuh barakah dr Mu Ya Allah. Tabahkan hatiku dlm menhadapi cabaran2 yg mendatang...

Apa2 terjadi dlm hidup ini, ianya adalah ujian .

"...But it is possible that you dislike a thing which is good for you, and that you love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knows, and you know not." Al-Baqarah 216

Sleepless nights..

Semakin dirasai penangannya, makin dekat open day...makin susah nak lelapkan mate.....

HasbunAllah wa Ni'mal Wakil.

Allah Alone is Sufficient for us, and He is the Best Disposer of affairs for us.

11-Dec-09. The boss asked us to join him for lunch. He told that, they had made a huge decision, either to move back to Singapore or to KL. The main reason is the Int. school here sucks. Well, it's true, they'd been complaining about it for a long time. They said, they can't compromise for their kids' future..

My reaction? I was dumbstruck. How on earth am I going to deal with my current commitments? My minds wandering off, think about this and that. What the heck am i going to do? What is my next plan? I think my face was like an open book...He kept on apologizing that he has no choice....

Then, he said, he is offering us freelance job as a writer. Good.
My plan would be :
1: Write
2: Continue with developing website
3: teach at centre.

I think, that would be sufficient. I have more time with family & still get to do what I want. I talked to my bro about this. He said good, focus on the centre. He'll help me with some teaching material & techniques. I haven't tell mom yet. Will do when she comes here for xmas...

I believe he takes into consideration before making the decision, that me & F have a backup plan, which is the centre. As for Z, i think he is flying back to UK to further his study. Well, it looks that the decision is convinient to all.

May be I'm not too happy now, but HE knows best. There's a blessing in disguise what ever happen in our life. May You give me strength to continue with my challenging life....

Everything happens for a reason, which reason doesn't know...

My dear missing friend

I heard the bad news abt your family. I hope & pray everything will turn out to be fine, better than before..Ameen.....



p/s: miss talking to u...

Retail therapy

perfume dah abis, anyway it wasn't my favorite one. The one and only perfume that I love is no longer available in Msia market. Last bottle that I bought, opss hubby bought was in UK. extravagance d'amarige...The first bottle was also bought by hubby in Paris..I just love the scent, it makes u feel sooo sexy....

tried a few others like, oui, jadore, jpg...nothing can beat extravagance d'amarige....*sigh*

Two months ago, while walking at Parkson. I was given a perfume card, and the smell was...hmm...heavenly, fresh, seductive and not too strong....at that time i don't need one..so i just ignore...

Today i went back & get Chance by Chanel...lovely, love it...yummm..pakai mase tido ni...aaaah...heaven! deh..ape le me dok merapu meraban mlm2 bute nih!

Kenduri kawin, Ikea & Muntah ........

sabtu gi settle ngecat kat centre...& luckily I bring along his trainees, budak2 tu continue until today....

Ahad tu, gi A kawin kat Kajang. Stop @ McD, Iman muntah..alahai kesiannye. Sib baik mama die selalu spare baju. salin & teruskan perjalanan..tp dlm hati tak sedpa je tgk Iman ni...lepas muntah..he is ok..happy...

Then kat kenduri pun ok, x sesat..lepak lamer aa gak..sejam setengah...sembang2..then terus ke ikea. Kat situ, ya rabb! ramainye umat...tp gi gaks le..dah sampai...pusing punya pusing, Iman muntah one more time! Sib baik kat tepi, habis baju hubby...Pastu die tido, kitorg pun ready to go home...dlm keter...after his meal, muntah agiks...duh...sib baik me cepat, kalo idak habis baju die..
Terus ke spital pantai, check...masuk ubat kat montot balik...The next day, Iman dah ok...Alhamdulillah...
Macam2....

TENSION..AGAIN!!!!!!!

duh..mmg menguji kesabaran tul laaaaa.....isy....rase tak tau aaaa....arghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

my yellow

YELLOW

Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah, they were all yellow.
I came along,
I wrote a song for you,
And all the things you do,
And it was called "Yellow".
So then I took my turn,
Oh what a thing to have done,
And it was all "Yellow."
Your skin,
Oh yeah your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful,
You know, you know I love you so,
You know I love you so.
I swam across,
I jumped across for you,
Oh what a thing to do.
Cos you were all "Yellow",
I drew a line,
I drew a line for you,
Oh what a thing to do,
And it was all "Yellow."
Your skin,
Oh yeah your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful,
And you know,
For you I'd bleed myself dry,
For you I'd bleed myself dry.
It's true,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine for,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine.
Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And all the things that you do.

Missing my yellow.....A LOT!